Feminine congruence tests, pith on marriage

In our notes last week we talked about feminine social checks, and how they can be confusing to men. There are (at least) four kinds of these tests, and the first is the congruence test.

This is fundamentally to check: Are you the man you say you are?

Here’s an example: “You’re weird.“

This is a simple test to see if you will get defensive/try to convince her that you’re really not weird. In other words, can your center of gravity be shifted easily? Will you let her perception become your frame?

There are lots of ways to pass this kind of check, and how you respond will depend on the context and your own personality. The important thing to bear in mind is that the words themselves don’t matter so much as the feeling that you evoke. She is like a sensor, feeling out whether the image you project, or the things you say about yourself, really are true (assuming it’s good).

• You, acting concerned: If you think I’m weird, I hate to imagine what normal is for you.

• You, deadpan: It’s weird that you…